Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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