theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
