I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Who died my cat blue again?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
