Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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