6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
