i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
