i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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