I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
