Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
