YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
