Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
