She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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