I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
