She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
His hands were made for my vagina.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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