We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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