More tranny stories later!
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The power of my boobs compel you
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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