i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize