member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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