Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
