I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize