Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
