Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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