Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
