I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
