No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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