i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
