hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
