I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
