Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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