someone get that fucking seahorse.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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