I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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