It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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