We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
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