and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Umm I'm too high to move.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
