She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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