i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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