How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
