the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
