You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
