Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
