like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
