i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
