yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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