But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
