a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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