how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This is the high leading the old right now
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
