At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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