Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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