i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
vagina is talking i cant
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
