Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
