please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
